Vacation
So I just came back to Minnesota from Colorado from my brothers Graduation and job interviews. I had 2 interviews for teaching positions and the interviews went very well. The first interview was for a High School positions which I did not receive a job offer. The staff said I had the best interview they had ever seen for a recent graduate.Unfortunately I didn’t “sell” myself well. Now that didn’t mean I said things wrong or didn’t interview well; it means that I didn’t have the small items or characteristics they needed or wanted replaced. I feel great about the interview even though I was not offered the position. I had another interview that week at an elementary school in the same district. I LOVED THE SCHOOL! It was very diverse in an urban area. 89% Hispanic, 75% ELL, 80-90% free to reduced lunch. I feel I could make a huge impact there. The school is 2 years old with plenty of space and equipment. I hear back this week from the school. I have been in pray constantly for God to send me to a place He sees fit; whether this school or not. I could really use your prayers also.
Sex
So the last couple of weeks I have been in deep prayer, scripture, and ponderance for the subject of sex and the wedding night. This comes about from observation of many of my friends that are married or getting married as well as many Christian books I’ve read with specific chapters addressing sex. You hear sometimes that “it’ll be the best part of the day” or “hope you have a good night…(hint hint)”. I am so disturbed by this. I think mostly because of the big focus believers/Christians put on sex. All I hear about is “freedom” to do what you want when. I HATE this. Now I know what you’ll probably say, “Sex was made by God for husband and wife; its the closest thing a couple can engage in; it’s intimacy and passion needed in a relationship!” Yes, I know, I am getting married and looking forward to “freedom.” But I don’t think its a issue that should be played up by Christians as an important wedding “privilege or/and practice.” In my mind I don’t even think it should ever come close to relating with wedding ideas, plans, and/or rituals realting to the closeness of the couple coming to Christ. Now I try to think of why Christians (especially men) feel sex is so important in response to marriage. One reason I can see is “I’m a “virgin” (define as you like) and I have been saving myself for this!” Yes, I can see that and, as I am a man, have feelings similar. I just don’t think it is priority but more of a privilege. I can’t help but wonder why Christian men dwell on this and talk about it frequently. Another thing I cant help but wonder about why so many Christian couples marry so quickly. When I say marry, I mean “quick” engagement. Now I do realize some do it for scheduling/timing reasons; but come on, 4 months to plan a wedding just because. I cant help but think an underlying reason is the lack of wanting to wait to sharing physical intimacy. All I am saying is that the purpose of being in a marriage and getting married is to grow closer to Christ together and helping each other. Sex is after. Think about what your conversations with your S.O. (significant other) are and make them Godly. Stopping think to yourself “can’t wait to get in the sack with my wife/husband.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for “freedom”; but it comes after excitement for moving toward Christ, marriage, living together, and sharing the rest of my walk and life with one speical person.
Question: Where is sex set in your mind? Could you wait is your S.O. didn’t want to have sex for weeks after the wedding for personal and/or spiritual reasons?
Filed under: Christ, Colorado, Expectations, Graduation, Jobs, Love, Sex, god, marriage | Tagged: Colorado, Jobs, Schools, Sex, Vacation
Sex is over rated. Having an intimately deep and wonderfully trusting friendship is worth about a million times more than sex. That is why I ended up dumping my last S.O.
I am praying, brother.
In response to your sex remarks, I have a few thoughts. I believe that the spiritual roots of sex run far, far deeper than the physical ones. This is where I may take issue with your view. Sex should not be viewed as a wedding night privilege, and neither as a right. Whether you view something as a privilege or a right, who is the beneficiary? You are. In sex you should never view yourself as the primary beneficiary. Rather you should view sex as a service. You are demonstrating to your spouse that all that you have is his/hers. I agree that viewing sex as something earned or deserved is bad, but I do not feel like abstaining from sex in marriage is the answer. I think we must fundamentally shift our thoughts and perspectives on sex from selfish pleasure to selfless sacrifice.
Yes, the purpose of getting married is to grow closer to Christ. But I do feel that sex is a part of that. It is an intricate piece of dying to self and learning to serve.
hmmm disagree. Sex needs to built up more and with many more expressions for it (naked pretzel, going for it, etc.)..
I dunno. I think what should be built up more is the fact that you get (have) to wake up next to someone the rest of your life. Your life will now be revolving around someone else other than yourself. That is exciting to me. You get to lay your life down for someone and they do the same. I think that is intimacy. Sex is a wonderful expression of this and is important, but not the only thing.
I agree, I have a few friends that got married quickly. It seems like alot of work for maybe 2 minutes of enjoyement…. ok well 2 minutes for most… umm anyway..
Good seeing you this weekend. It was great you could come. It was amazing.
twss
Andy,
What do you do with texts like 1 Corinthians 7.9?
Good point Chris. Scripture does address issues that I may have with sex. I just what I was really aiming for is that i feel its just a constant theme of marriage and I am not looking at that aspect of it. I am looking at waking up with someone everyday, sharing intimacy and sacrifice. I’m just choosing to be more God focused and less sex/partner focused. I wasn’t addressing so much the fact of not having sex or wanting sex; I am merely addressing the fact the sex has so much emphasis on it and sometimes more then devotion, prayer, spiritual intimacy with our maker.
Chris, I do believe 1 Corinthians 7.9 is a good passage to look at in this case. I do feel though Paul is not speaking about what we might consider “normal” sexual temptation.
“It is one thing to burn, another to feel heat . . . what Paul calls burning here, is not merely a slight sensation, but being so aflame with passion that you cannot stand up against it.” (Calvin)
I do however think the context of the chapter isn’t coinciding with Paul here. Paul may be only “giving advice” in this passage and is NOT speaking with the authority of God because he twice says he is not giving “a command of the Lord” (vs 12,25). By “command of the Lord” I feel Paul is referring to Jesus’ teaching while on earth. Thus, in verse 10, Paul can speak of the “command of the Lord” about divorce, a teaching that the Lord gave while on earth, a teaching that we can read in both Matthew 5 (vs 31) and Matthew 19 (vs 1-12). However, about the single life there is no “command of the Lord” that goes back to the time when the Lord Jesus was on earth. I believe, however, this does not mean that Paul is speaking without the authority of God. Paul makes clear in verse 25, he has received mercy to remain faithful and true to God in giving advice.
I also feel Paul’s preference for the single life in 1 Corinthians 7 doesn’t seem to fit in with his HIGH view of marriage in Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3. But Ephesians 5 does not contradict 1 Corinthians 7; it only spells out what a good Christian marriage should be like.
Finally to end my ranting, i feel all of us, married or single, are to have one goal in life: the service of the Lord. I feel the Lord wants us to practice self-control; serve Him with undivided devotion. And married or looking to get married, I feel that we should not get so wrapped up in responsibilities and concerns that you have no time to serve the Lord.
Question: What do you think about 1Cor 7:29-31? Somewhat troubling to me! But interesting.